Nothing Else Matters

As I'm listening to NPR I flinch when I here about climate change, health care overhaul and its enemies, and I fully flinch when I think of the real world. I am about to embark on a journey that is exciting and while at the same time scary as hell. My internship at Shepherd Center should prepare me for working with people and should allow me to become a fully fledged practitioner. I know my professors are proud of me and they expect all of us to have a career in Recreational Therapy. I keep thinking back to my philosophies and since I'm young I feel I can deliver efficacious treatments that truly make a difference in one's life.

While I haven't posted here in awhile that's OK because I'm going to use it as a journal. I've been told I need this journal to write down my thoughts however crazy they are so I'm going to. Let me apologize forthright before I start writing my insane thoughts down in an electronic journal. Some of my thoughts will be personal but of course I'll be writing to an audience so I'll keep that in mind. However, forgive my words as they may bring about hostile thoughts towards me, but remember these are only words.

Carved

"I wonder why, we are the way we are" - Alexi Murdoch

Standing in front of the gravestone, that is the color of pearl, I see my mother's named. It is etched cleanly into the stone and it is upright next to hundreds of others. Almost like tablets. A survey with your own eyes shows the cemetery surrounded by mountains; in fact, it's a military cemetery (I guess uncle sam does take care of his veterans). I stand muttering to myself as if she can hear me and understand me. I stumble around for a moment and collapse, and on my knees I'm closer to her headstone. My eyes, now blurry, reads the name and this death is real. Seeing her die wasn't enough but this is. Enough.

The vision of visiting my mother's grave came to me while looking at my friend's pictures from his accident. I saw him eating with his family and I remembered eating a "victory" meal with my mom. Victory meal after finishing outpatient rehab at Pathways near Atlanta, GA. A meal that meant that I was on my way to recovery from a near death accident. The coming year was a blur. Should I re-hash it? Sure.

I declared Recreational Therapy as my major and I began a long course classes that would lead me to where I am now. I began cycling again as my main sport, but I didn't truly start again until last year. I also dropped kayaking for awhile, but of course I am back into that sport again too. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. I dated a girl named Nikki for over a year; this ended with sadness and guilt but she changed my life. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. I got a new mountain bike which I absolutely love; however, I'm convinced my friends think I'm going to hurt myself again. I'm actually in descent physical fitness now which I'm happy about. My mom was diagnosed with cancer.

I guess it's the juxtaposition of how I held my mom's hand that upset me. She held mine you know. I don't know where I'm going or who I'm going to be, but I know what I hope to be and hope to be going. However, hope is a word that doesn't exist in my vocabulary right now. Just remember whom you love and why. Don't take things for granted. It could have been worse. My mom could have been killed in a car wreck. What a sob story.

Metaphor

This photo is a metaphor: people always try to grab things but they're always out of reach.

This photo is from the Women's Rugby game, Western Carolina v. Georgia Tech. Now I can't tell you if they won. However, they played very well.

Really like this photo. Great one. Alright, I'm off to Snowshoe, WV so I'll hopefully get some photos. Maybe, depends on if I'm too busy skiing. Oh well.